alt.org

Dudley's (New, Improved) Dungeon

< May 9th, 2017 >Crawldragon
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@ "Woah, deja vu."

d "What?"

@ "Never mind."

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@ "You ever think about reincarnation, Dogley?"

d "Gee, I dunno. I don't really buy it, but it would be cool to be reborn as a human, I guess."

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@ "A human, eh?"

d "Yeah. I've always liked that you guys can wear clothes, use tools, see in more than two colors..."

Click! You trigger a
rolling boulder     
trap!               
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@ "Ohhhh crap..."

d "But then again, you guys have never been super observant..."

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@ "Wait, what? What happened..."

Thou art welcome to the antechamber of My domain, mortal souls.

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@ "The door is locked..."

Thy souls have not yet been judged worthy to enter My kingdom. Therefore, thou shalt be reborn so that thy souls may continue to learn.

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The one formerly known as Dudley hath committed many transgressions against My holy scripture, and shall be reborn as a dog!

@ "Oh come on! Is this because of that tin of nurse meat?"

d "Why is being a dog considered a punishment!?"

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The one formerly known as Dogley hath been very patient in dealing with Dudley, and shall be rewarded with the human body for which he wished during life.

d "Oh, sweet!"

@ "This is bull-" ZOT!!!

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--------d-----------
@ "Woah, deja vu."

d "What?"

@ "Never mind."

https://alt.org/nethack/dudley/
And the cycle continues...
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2 Comments

#1 Anonymous Fri, 12 May 2017 02:33:27
Excellent! I suppose this Deity doesn't actually speak Shakespearean English, though: "thou art" and "thy" are the older forms of singular "you are" and "your"; for plural I think it's "ye are" and the familiar "your". (Even a nine-lived cat presumably has only one soul, so it would never be "thy souls".)
#2 Crawldragon Sat, 13 May 2017 02:48:48
The gods are actually very well-up on modern jargon and lingo, but they have to at least try to put on a show for their loyal followers. Politics, you know?

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