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Dudley's (New, Improved) Dungeon

< Jul 10th, 2015 >ThePathfinder
  Prank Today:  
                
  PROGRAMMING   
   LANGUAGES    
    DEFINED     
  (NH Version)  
  |.....G{|    |
  |.....|.|    |
---.....|.|  _ |
.....{..|.|    |
--------@-------
  |    |.|    | 
[Assembly]

The gnome zap Dudley with a wand of striking.

    -------     
    |..%..|     
    |..|..|     
    |..|..+#####
    |..G..|     
    -------     
[ADA]

The gnome from Dep't of Def' zap Dudley with a wand of death,after offering him a blindfold and a last cigarette.

......}}}}}.....
......}}}}}.....
......}}}}}.....
..G-----------@.
......}}}}}.....
......}}}}}.....
[BASIC(interpreted)]

The gnome zap Dudley with a wand of freezing until he is frozen and his life is gone.

                
                
                
###G-------*@###
                
                
[BASIC(compiled)]

The gnome zap Dudley with a rock using a magic missle launcher.

.....@.@.@......
......\|/.......
...@---G--@.....
....../|\.......
...../.|.@......
....@..@........
[C++]

The gnome create a dozen instances of Dudley and zap them all.Not knowing which are real,healing is impossible.

.G(#............
.G(#............
.G(#..'-------@.
.G(#............
...###+#........
.......#........
[COBOL]

> USE WAND.COLT(45)
> AIM AT DUDLEY.HEAD
> THEN WITH ARM.HAND.FINGER ON WAND.COLT(TRIGGER) PERFORM SQUEEZE
> RETURN WAND.COLT TO HIP.HOLSTER
> _

(The ' is a robot)

.+..|G+|..+....+
.|..|++|..|....|
.----|-----....-
................
.-+-----+--...@.
.|..|..|..|.....
[csh]

After searching through the manual until Dudley escapes,the gnome break the wand and switch to C.

|//@///////////|
-------.--------
       G        
       #        
-------.--------
|??????????@???|
[dBASE]

The gnome buy a wand.Charges are only available from another shop, and are promised to work so it buy them.Then it find out that the next version of the wand is the one that is scheduled to actually zap something.

.....\.|./......
......\|/.......
...%---G--------
....../|\.......
...../.|.\......
..../..|..\.....
[FORTRAN]

The gnome zap Dudley,iteratively,until he got YASD'd.It zap the other charges anyway since no exception processing was anticipated.

..-..-I-...-.-I.
.---..-.-I-...-.
G..-I..-..--..II
.-.....-.-I..--.
--.-I-I--...-.-.
.--.-...-.-I.---
[Modula-2]

The gnome perform a zapping on what might be currently Dudley with what might be currently a charge by what might be currently a wand.

I.-..-.-...-.-I.
.---.I-.-I-...-.
-/-\...-..--..II
.|G|..I-.II..--.
-\-/I----...-.-.
.--.-...-.-I.---
[PASCAL]

Same as Modula-2, except that the charge is not of the right type for the wand and the gnome's hand is blown off.

................
....//..........
..G//========@..
..//............
................
................
[PL/1]

After consuming all system resources including charges, the data processing department doubles its size, acquires 2 new mainframes and drops the original on Dudley.

................
..........///...
....@...../%/...
..........///...
................
................
[Smalltalk,Actor,etc.]

After playing with the graphics for 3 weeks the programming manager god zaps the gnome.

Edited from PLANG.TXT in an old DOS game called VRFARM.I know none of them actually,so don't ask.
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Ratings

  • 3 poor
  • 1 mediocre
  • 4 fair
  • 3 good
  • 0 excellent
Average rating: fair
Number of ratings: 11
<July 2015>
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3 Comments

#1 xCheckPoint Fri, 10 Jul 2015 08:32:41
Cool

#2 Anonymous Wed, 15 Jul 2015 23:49:15
I would have had the pascal one be more like:

type gnometype of monster: gnome, gnome lord, gnome king;

thisnome := gnome;

zap(thisnome, dudley);

Typerr. In function "zap". Expected type "monster", but got type "gnometype" of "monster" instead.


--Elronnd

#3 grisha5 Tue, 27 Oct 2015 13:37:12
Cant make symmetry but should vote E. So i pick closest. G.

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