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Dudley's (New, Improved) Dungeon

< Aug 12th, 2015 >EpicOrange
|                  |
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|What your god has |
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|  while you're in |
|   the dungeons   |
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d: You really should not have sent him in with Dogley! There's no way he's going to be fed like us! He'll live on corpses! And starve!

A: There are plenty of tripe rations in the dungeons. Dogley shall be fine.

Soon                
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d: ...Wow! SEE?

A: Dogley? You're dead already? How?!

d: The jerk ran as soon as we entered the dungeon -- he came back in a thousand turns and I was STARVING, and he KILLED ME FOR BITING HIM ONCE! I mean -- smite him already!

A: Well, that sounds like self-defense, because you attacked him.

d: WHAT?! WAIT!

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A: Oh, another complaint already. ...Yes?

h: I was minding my own business in the mines, and he came up and murdered me! To take my pickaxe! And my gems! AND HE ATE MY CORPSE! This is unacceptable!

A: You were being peaceful? I see. Minus one alignment for him.

h: WHAT?! Minus ONE?! HE ATE ME!!! You're Lawful! Do something!

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A: I really can't.. oh my, here comes more.

G: Your 'servant' Dudley came up and killed us all and ate us! Stop him!

a: He disturbed our nest! By which I mean HE SLAUGHTERED US ALL IN OUR SLEEP!

A: No. He shall not be stopped. I need the Amulet, and he hasn't done anything terribly bad--

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h: WHAT?! HE ATE ME! How is that not bad!?

A: No, I mean-- one moment. I shall need to respond to Dudley's prayer.

@: I'm starving!

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d: Let him starve! He starved me!

A: No! I must have that Amulet!

h: He's eating all of our corpses! How can he be starving?!

Later               
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G: I still can't believe you're allowing him to--

A: Dudley has requested to genocide sea creatures. Sparks, I apologize.

;: What?

fdGha: No! You're Lawful, you can't possibly--

A: Too late.

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all ;: Wh- What just happened??

A: This is temporary. Once Dudley gives me the Amulet... one moment. He has delivered a sacrifice.

d: What do you even DO with--

A: ...Silence! And one moment.

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A: Now I've got a few words to say about that Dudley! Wait, where's..?

d: He's getting an ARTIFACT for Dudley. For a SACRIFICE.

A: Huh? Wait, he's taking my Sunsword! WHAT?!

Later               
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A: Why did you think it was a GOOD IDEA to-

A: I will not be spoken to like this!

h: I can't believe you're Lawful, allowing him to EAT OUR CORPSES and-

A: Silence! Begone!

G: You can't just-

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A: Hmm, maybe Dudley was a terrible idea after all...

d: Told you.

A: Well, I do know that I want to hear no more complaints. I must have the Amulet.

d: What do you need the Amulet for, anyways?

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A: To be the Most Powerful God this year, of course. Didn't you read the introduction?

d: What even? Well I don't think anyone will support you, now. You went and closed the Complaints portal! That's worse than Comcast!

A: ...I see. Fine. I shall open it.

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A: Nothing? Fair enough.

d: Did Dudley learn to not murder all the dungeon inhabitants?

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A: Oh dear.
Godley was not the Most Powerful God that year.
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Ratings

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Average rating: excellent
Number of ratings: 21
<August 2015>
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5 Comments

#1 ThePathfinder Thu, 13 Aug 2015 00:52:24
Comcast?What is that?

#2 Anonymous Thu, 13 Aug 2015 04:08:25
Nice, and accidentally(?) a sequel to the previous comic. As it happens, the exclamation "Oh dear" (from the last panel) was likely either "Oh dear God!" or "O Dio" = Italian "O God" originally, so Dudley's Deity is literally saying "Oh My!".

#3 Bucky Thu, 13 Aug 2015 23:09:27
@Pathfinder: An American cable TV company and internet provider with a reputation for bad customer service.

#4 Anonymous Sat, 15 Aug 2015 03:04:36
Wow. Just wow. I'm surprised anyone rated it lower than excellent... no words will describe my awe to this. Awe-some!

#5 grisha5 Sat, 24 Oct 2015 13:18:00
ITS AWESOME!

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