Dudley's (New, Improved) Dungeon

< Aug 17th, 2010 >

Sorceror

....----+--|-----...
.........@..........
.......--|---+---...
......{|....|...|...
.......|.G.G|...|...
.......|.G_G|...|...
..{....|..@.|...|...
-----.----------|...
....|.|....|....+...

@: "Griswald, do you take Dorina to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

You have a strange  
forbidding feeling. 
.......--@---+---...
......{|....|...|...
.......|.G.G|...|...
.......|.G_G|...|...
..{....|..@.|...|...
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G: "Excuse me, this is a private function!"

G: "Yes, clear off!"

The air crackles    
around the gnomish w
.......--|---+---...
......{|.@G.|...|...
.......|.G..|...|...
.......|.G_G|...|...
..{....|..@.|...|...
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G: "I said move it!"

G: "Do you not understand Common?"

The gnomish wizard  
points at you and cu
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......{|.G..|...|...
.......|G.@.|...|...
.......|.._.|...|...
..{....|G.@G|...|...
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G: "Well I never!"

G: "I'm calling the guard."

G: "Aaah!"

What do you want to 
sacrifice? [EH or ?*
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......{|G...|...|...
.......|....|...|...
.......|G.@.|...|...
..{....|.@G.|...|...
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@: "How dare you!"

G: "GUAAAARD!"

G: "Eew, what's that smell?"

You have a strong   
feeling that Set is 
.......--G---+---...
......{|G...|...|...
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.......|G.@.|...|...
..{....|.@G.|...|...
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@: "My word! A unicorn?"

G: "How awful!"

Mitra accepts your  
allegiance.         
.......--G---+---...
......{|G...|...|...
.......|....|...|...
.......|G.@.|...|...
..{....|.@G.|...|...
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G: "I don't believe this!"

@: "Get out! We're in the middle of a wedding!"

G: *sob*

What do you want to 
sacrifice? [J or ?*]
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......{|GG..|...|...
.......|....|...|...
.......|G.@.|...|...
..{....|@G..|...|...
-----.----------|...
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G: "The guard is coming."

@: "Thank heavens for that!"

G: "Oh Ptah, is that ..."

Your sacrifice is   
consumed in a burst 
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......{|....|...|...
.......|G.G.|...|...
.......|G.@.|...|...
..{....|@G..|...|...
-----.----------|...
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G: "Fluffy! Griswald, you said she was locked up safely at home!"

G: "I know I locked the door. He must have broken in!"

The gnome misses.   
....................
.......--@---+---...
......{|....|...|...
.......|G.G.|...|...
.......|G.@.|...|...
..{....|@G..|...|...
-----.----------|...
....|.|....|....+...

G: "You bastard!"

G: "Come now, dear, that won't help!"

@: "My child, try to stay calm! The watchman is here."

@: "What's all this then?"

You kill the gnome! 
....................
.......--|---+---...
......{|G@G.|...|...
.......|G...|...|...
.......|@.@.|...|...
..{....|.%..|...|...
-----.----------|...
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G: "Holy fuzbuckle! Dorina!"

G: "My daughter!"

G: "Barbarian!"

@: "A curse on you, heathen!"

@: "Nothing to see here."

This gnome corpse   
tastes terrible!    
.......--|---+---...
......{|GGG.|...|...
.......|@.@.|...|...
.......|.._.|...|...
..{....|.@..|...|...
-----.----------|...
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G: "Dear Ptah!"

G: "You animal!"

@: *retch*

@: "Quiet down, you lot!"

The gnomish wizard  
turns to flee!      
.......--G---+---...
......{|.GG.|...|...
.......|@.@.|...|...
.......|.@_.|...|...
..{....|....|...|...
-----.----------|...
....|.|....|....+...

G: "Run for your life!"

@: "Oh my ..." *retch*

@: "You're under arrest for wasting watchman's time."

....----+--|-----...
.........G..........
.......--G---+---...
......{|..G.|...|...
.......|}@@.|...|...
.......|@._.|...|...
..{....|....|...|...
-----.----------|...
....|.|....|....+...

G: "But officer ..."

@: "You know the one law of Minetown: No drinking from the fountains!

Oh, hi, Dudley!"

@: "Hi, Frank!"

https://alt.org/nethack/dudley/

Just another uneventful day for Minetown's law enforcement.

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Average rating: excellent
Number of ratings: 54

<	August 2010	>
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14 Comments

#1	Anonymous	Tue, 17 Aug 2010 00:50:48
You forgot breaking and entering. That's also illegal in minetown.
#2	Sorceror	Tue, 17 Aug 2010 01:34:51
#1: Only if they see you do it.
#3	jlmjlm	Tue, 17 Aug 2010 02:26:17
But, if those're the only laws, then wasting watchmen's time isn't an offense after all!
#4	Bhaak	Tue, 17 Aug 2010 09:49:07
I remember another comic where this has already been done, but this one also has a good execution.
#5	Slandor	Tue, 17 Aug 2010 13:29:04
Poor Fluffy. :-( Vegetables are for throwing at cats when you can't take on any more pets, so you can leave each other alone.
#6	Quint	Tue, 17 Aug 2010 18:12:00
My only qualm is that when I arrive in Minetown I don't have the levels to plaster the guards.
#7	Sorceror	Wed, 18 Aug 2010 00:54:19
jlmjlm: There is only one law in Minetown: do not drink from the fountains and no break— There are only two laws in Minetown: do not drink from the fountains and no breaking and entering and don't waste the watch— There are only three laws in Minetown ... </montypythonreference> Furthermore, was the One Ring from LotR really the only ring ever made? ONE LAW TO RULE THEM ALL! Last edited: Wed, 18 Aug 2010 01:02:14
#8	Sorceror	Wed, 18 Aug 2010 04:28:02
Oh, just noticed something: "EH" can be sacrificed in one panel, and later only "J". Fun typo!
#9	mijae	Wed, 18 Aug 2010 08:36:36
I love how this comic gives new motivations to the standard gnomish wizard pointing and cursing.
#10	Quint	Fri, 20 Aug 2010 21:36:12
"I do solemnly swear...that Dudley killed and ate my family!"
#11	Sorceror	Sun, 22 Aug 2010 01:57:38
My favourite part is where Dudley kills and eats an innocent gnome in front of both the city guard and the priest.
#12	AndreyK	Tue, 24 Mar 2015 20:48:21
Huh? What is that yellow }? Whoah, someone's... urine?
#13	sfc0	Wed, 8 Apr 2015 06:48:30
#12: It's the priest's vomit, after seeing Dudley eating the gnome.
#14	Anonymous	Mon, 5 Nov 2018 15:56:54
Pure gold.

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