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Dudley's (New, Improved) Dungeon

< Dec 25th, 2009 >Adeon
|^|-.``....`..|     
|^||..``|.`.`.|     
|^||..%.|..../|     
|^|------`----|     
|^|    |......|     
|^------.....%|     
|..^^^^````...|     
|??-----.=....|     
----   --------     
|^|-.``....`..|     
|^||..``|.`.`.|     
|^||..%.|..../|     
|^|------`----|     
|^|    |......|     
|^------.....%|     
|..^^^^````...|     
|??-----.=....|     
----   --------     
|^|-.``....`..|     
|^||..``|.`.`.|     
|^||..%.|..../|     
|^|------`----|     
|^|    |......|     
|^------.....%|     
|..^^^^````...|     
|??-----.=....|     
----   --------     
|^|-.``....`..|     
|^||..``|.`.`.|     
|^||..%.|..../|     
|^|------`----|     
|^|    |......|     
|^------.....%|     
|..^^^^````...|     
|??-----.=....|     
----   --------     
|^|-.`....``..|     
|^||.``.|.`d`.|     
|^||....|@.../|     
|^|------`----|     
|^|    |......|     
|^------.....%|     
|..^^^^````...|     
|??-----.=....|     
----   --------     
|^|-.`....``..|     
|^||.``.|.`.`.|     
|^||....|.....|     
|^|------.----|     
|^|    |......|     
|^------``...d|     
|..^^^^`@``...|     
|??-----......|     
----   --------     
The boulder fills a 
|^||.``.|.`.`.|     
|^||....|.....|     
|^|------.----|     
|^|    |......|     
|^------``....|     
|..^^^.@.``d..|     
|??-----......|     
----   --------     
    ------------    
   /  REST IN   \   
  /    PEACE     \  
 /                \ 
 |    Trapley     | 
 |   filled  by   | 
 |    a boulder   | 
 |                | 
)/)()||//\\)///)/(/)
Picked the wrong role.
  • This strip has been viewed 5294 times

Ratings

  • 1 poor
  • 7 mediocre
  • 6 fair
  • 14 good
  • 15 excellent
Average rating: good
Number of ratings: 43
<December 2009>
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16 Comments

#1 STL Fri, 25 Dec 2009 02:42:47
While I like the idea, implementation needs more work, IMO.
1- First 4 panels are completely unnecessary.
2- The message should be based on the current player's perpective (who is playing a trap). E.g. "The boulder fills you"
3- Cursor really helps (which should be on the trap), but it's completely missing from this strip.

#2 Anonymous Fri, 25 Dec 2009 07:08:53
I agree with STL, but I'll go a step further. The first four panels aren't unnecessary, since they suggest that playing as a Trap would be... well, awfully stationary. However, I think it could have been done in six panels; chop the first two and run the comic as two rows of three and I think it would be more concise.

Still, credit where it's due for an original idea.

#3 JackOfClubs Fri, 25 Dec 2009 07:09:37
Whoops, logged out. Comment #2 was me.

#4 Dentarthurdent Fri, 25 Dec 2009 14:29:12
1. Nope, the first four panels establish (though we don't realize it yet) that the viewpoint is following the current player — Trapley — and not Dudley.
2. Gravestones don't work that way.
3. Cursor would ruin the buildup.

Don't mind the critics, Adeon. This is art.

#5 Quint Fri, 25 Dec 2009 18:57:45
Since today is what it is...pick a role, someone. And an alignment, if applicable.

#6 Anonymous Fri, 25 Dec 2009 20:25:50
It would work better if you couldn't see anything outside the trap's field of view.

#7 Sorceror Fri, 25 Dec 2009 22:44:50
Dentarthurdent, any comic that makes you ask "WHAT THE HUCKING FOO-HA IS GOING ON?!" is a bad thing. There is simply no indication that the comic is from the point-of-view of the trap. There is no establishment, just exactly the same panel repeated far too often. In this sort of situation, cursor is NEEDED, or at least some back-and-forth between Dudley and Dogley.

d: "You ever think that these holes might have families?"
@: "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!"
The boulder fills you! You die ...
^: "Papa, nooooooooooo!"

Last edited: Fri, 25 Dec 2009 22:45:07

#8 TobyBartels Sat, 26 Dec 2009 01:41:21
@ Dentarthurdent

2. Wrong message; STL means ‘The boulder fills a […]’.

I would cut the first row too, but DON'T use a cursor. I should be a surprise at the end that the perspective is Trapley's. (I do think that the message should be from Trapley's perspective, but that's more of a technicality; really perceptive people might get the joke already from ‘The boulder fills yo’.)

#9 TobyBartels Sat, 26 Dec 2009 01:42:27
@ Sorceror

‘any comic that makes you ask "WHAT THE HUCKING FOO-HA IS GOING ON?!" is a bad thing’

I very much disagree. If it makes me ask that, and then I figure it out in a flash, then that is the best comic of all (but hard to pull off). (This one, for the record, did not make me ask that.)

#10 Quint Sat, 26 Dec 2009 02:31:46
Actually, it kinda did, but I figured it out in a flash. That makes this a very good comic.

#11 NorthBus Mon, 28 Dec 2009 17:25:15
Agreed. If the comic reads differently and is funnier the second time through, then I would call that a great comic.

#12 Shmuale Thu, 31 Dec 2009 20:38:04
@ Sorceror: Proof that those comics are actually the best type: http://www.nicolaas.net/dudley/index.php?f=20080514

That comic is the highest rated on the old Dudley, and many say the best of all time.

Last edited: Thu, 31 Dec 2009 20:39:06

#13 Sorceror Fri, 19 Feb 2010 14:10:59
Shmuale, that doesn't make me ask the HUCKING FOO-HA question, because it's clear on a single reading. It's just a surprise at the end with what was going on.

This comic needed several readings before I realised it was always meant to be from the perspective of the trap and not Dudley.

#14 todaal Wed, 24 Feb 2010 11:23:41
I like the way "filled" rhymes with "killed", making it a bit punny. I am giving E because I found it so thought provoking. The comic timing: why are @ and d so late? The misdirection: ok, he picked up the wand and ring, while Dogley eats tripe; now he's pushing boulders. The surprise turn: "who's Trapley...how did he die...oh, I get it!"
I think the 4 panels are poignant and give it a gravitas and sadness that three would not. Plus they balance out the four on the second line. I think the lack of cursor actually works to emphasize the complete lack of options for Trapley.
My first post - love the site. I'm working my way through the archives and hope to create my own strip one day. Warning: my first idea is a pun.
I hope some reads this. I'm posting 2 months late here!

#15 DarthCliche Mon, 19 Jul 2010 20:09:11
E for the same reason as Todaal.

#16 googoosh Fri, 23 Dec 2011 16:46:27
Nice strip. I agree with todaal that it is good how it is, and if you think you are late posting, todaal, I'm posting 11 months late!
Last edited: Fri, 23 Dec 2011 16:47:02

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